Old Dad x 2

Today is my birthday (October 8th). I turn 41 years old, which sounds CRAZY to me. I remember when my dad turned 40. I was 10 years old and I remember being upset that night because someone made a joke that he was closer to dying. Now here I am at 41 and I am so thankful that was 30 years ago and my pops is still going strong. I hope the Lord grants me 70+ years because while my mom and dad were finished having babies at 30, Kaley and I just got started at 40, thanks unexplained infertility. I often joke that it is an odd feeling being the “Old dad” at pick up. That joke is REAL because I talk to some of the other dads and they are all in their 20’s and early 30’s.  That odd feeling quickly fades away when I walk into that room and Cam lights up and runs to me hollering “DADA”!!! It is the BEST feeling in the world. It is the reason we fought for 8 years. To say that fight is worth it is the understatement of my lifetime. I can’t wait to double that feeling to twice a day with Cam and Bean!!

So where am I with expecting baby #2 or as we call them “Bean”.   A mixture of unmeasurable excitement, crippling anxiety and a shade of guilt. Why guilt you ask? Let me explain. When Kaley started this blog I was taken by surprise but I was and still am supportive and proud. I have to admit though the interest and feedback was overwhelming were very shocking. So why the guilt? Well there was so much fan fare and anticipation for Campbell’s birth. Now for Bean, it feels like not so much. That is not me saying that our friends, family and Facebook fans are slacking, it is really on me. When we decided to try for Bean, it all happened so fast. Kaley did some meds for a few weeks, then we had our transfer. In my mind we were going to need at least 3 or four transfers. I mean if history taught me anything it’s that IVF offers NO GUARANTEES!! So when we really got pregnant, it really was like a normal couple being surprised by a pregnancy. So much of a surprise that I am not sure it has really sunken in yet. For this reason we have not put out as much info or updates and I feel like we are already not giving Bean what he/she deserves. What can I say… I am a softie for my kids.

As for the pregnancy, everything looks good so far. Kaley is adorable pregnant and I love this time. I don’t think she is as much a fan. This one is tough on her. Lots of aches, pains and randomly throwing up. We are trying to prepare Cam to be a big brother and he points to Kaley’s belly when we ask him where is the baby, so that’s adorable. We are trying to prepare ourselves for a newborn and the terrible 2’s at the same time. Not sure exactly how to prepare for that so we will see. For now we just pray and try to keep communicating with each other. Hope you all are doing well. Keep praying for us and our babies. We love you all!!l

Peace & Love,

Kirk